1. |
paranoid again! :)
00:59
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i don't think that anyone is following me
but i still turn around on the street
i don't really think that you hate me
but i still feel it and wonder and worry
how do i explain this self centeredness
that makes me think every bad thing you feel
is something that i did
i'm getting paranoid again
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2. |
gutless
02:49
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did i do something to scare you?
sometimes i scare myself too
have you been waiting for me to go
is this something i should have known
leave the room for a smoke
straighten out my clothes
fall asleep with backs turned
let the silence form a pattern
is it self preservation or self destruction that keeps me quiet
am i learning from my mistakes when i learn not to talk
i was back at your house today
why was i surprised when you looked away
or when you barely said anything
humiliation is exhausting
too nice to say "no"
or "maybe you should head home"
or "we should spend some time alone"
or "i think i'm better on my own"
is it overdramatic or overbearing to think that we had something
am i learning what you forgot when i'm trying to talk
you can't feel it in your gut if you don't have one
is it unrealistic or unproductive to wish that i could tell you
that i'm learning what i deserve when i learn how to talk
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3. |
counting cards
02:56
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it gets better when you loosen your grip
on whatever makes your hands rough
the same feeling when i realized good
will never be good enough
i didn't know the knife was in me
until i pulled it out
and i don't know what to do with it
but i've been trying to figure it out
it gets harder to live healthy
when you're not sure what for
and starving doesn't feel good
but what does anymore
do i mean the things that i don't say
can i trust what's in my head
i'm still coughing up what i believe
after choking on what i was fed
it gets easier to stand tall
when you shed what your shoulders held
the same feeling when i realized this
isn't how it is for everyone else
and i'm sick of counting cards
and keeping track of where you are
tired from catching up
while you and your friends play dumb
soon the dust we kicked up will be done settling
and our claws will finally free from each other's skin
and we'll know better than to play games we can't win
and we'll know better than to try this again
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susie derkins recommends:
Practice Kissing
by Puppy Problems
sami's music is dark & frank & drop dead honest. people would prob describe their lyrics as "unapologetic" but they write about thoughts & feelings that people shouldn't apologize for
go to album
Dykes To Watch Out For
by DUMP HIM
massachusetts queercore revival from our bass player james. "what's yr deal with kim" is one of my favorite songs ever especially live when they GO IN with the SHREDDING
go to albumIf you like susie derkins, you may also like:
The second album from Sadie Dupuis's alter ego is vibrating with technicolor basement pop and phantom rock.
go to album
Direct and self-determined, the Speedy Ortiz vocalist sets a new course for her debut album.
go to album
Sugar World (members of Naps) make fizzy twee pop with acerbic charm and wry hooks.
go to album
the vegetablets
by the vegetablets
Avant-garde indie pop gems from Japan with melodies that go unexpected places and all sorts of quirky instrumentation.
go to album
